I have long hair now. And it's getting a little hard to handle, cos I have alot of hair. They're thick per strand and thick in amount.
No, at this very sober moment of mine, I've decided to type this out.
I'm not drunk. You know in shows? Where people 'Jie jiu xiao chou (drinking to ease their pain/suffering)? I think it's hilarious lor. You pay so much, to get yourself a major hangover the next day, and probably puke all over your body, if you're a guy, there's high chance that you might be on the streets, beside a lamp post. And if you're a girl, there is a super high chance you'll be in some strange cheapo hotel, naked and/or probably robbed of both your chastity and moneyyy. Dumb right? Okay, perhaps you have another perspective towards it. But you can't deny that fact right? It's not as if it's gonna solve any damn problem in life. It's escapism.
If people like me were to escape, you should really pity them and give them a hug, because they actually have no idea about what they are escaping from. It's like a general thing. Like suddenly, one day, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything goes wrong. You dislike everybody, and whatever anybody does, is totally wrong. I don't know if using the phrase "Wrong thing and Wrong time" would be good because it's not their fault, but yours, but then again, not entirely your fault because you never meant to do it and feel that way. However, people misunderstands and it's the end. After the misunderstanding of you, people's impression of you is heading downhill and it'll take forever to climb back - but you can, with the help of your friend, you definitely can. Sometimes, in life, all we need is just a little push, and we'll be going on, forever.
Okay, I totally couldn't see the point of the last paragraph. Do you know what it means? Do share, I have no idea what I just typed. Everything was just entering my pea-sized brain and yeah baby, it's now all there. I actually wanted to type about something pretty pessimistic, but I ended up encouraging people? WOW. It's okay, even if you forgot most of me, you'll still remember me as the girl that made your day by smiling even though her own world is pretty crushed.
No, I said I'm not drunk.
You know, sometimes, I feel very inferior? Like ultra inferior- be it in physical or mental wise, I'll feel inferior one lor. Which is really a neagtive thing I should be doing because everyone should have high self esteem, okay, maybe not high, but moderate, enough for you to get by without getting squashed (highly impossible) You see, physical wise - I know myself the best. I'm not pretty, not hot, not thin, not stylo or whatever. I'm fat and round, a little cranky and sometimes moodswings, I talk nonsense at times and I think I'm a waste of space. I have low self esteem, I don't even dare to wear clothes that are sleeveless or what thereofs because I have flabby arms and if I reveal them, I might just flap them and fly to outerspace. (there are many more, i just don't wanna demoralise myself)
Actually, I don't really know what's so inferior about it. Because it doesn't really cause any dire consequences. People with all those awesome stuff uses it to gain all the popularity in the world - which I don't desire of, especially UNWANTED attention. Thanks, but no thanks. But sometimes, it's just the inferiority complex playing around with all the hormones and nerves, adjusting the way I think, like now - not focused and rebutting myself like FREEEEEEEE - with my eyes barely open. BARELY
So while my classmates are pubbing and clubbing, here am I blogging and yawning like an outcast. SIGHS. I'm tired - literally, for I ran today and did some changing room exercises, and mentally, where I'm super tired of facing the world. So now what, is this an emo post or? Sometimes, I... uuh, i forgot what I wanted to say.
I'll go now. Because the night is still young baybeh.
:D / D:
Saturday, August 30, 2008
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